“Boys and Girls” by Alice Munro
Introduction
This paper seeks to establish if society’s expectations are the reason for the sustained conflicts in gender roles. This objective will be attained by examining the life of the young girl in the story “Boys and Girls” by Alice Munro and assessing the external and internal struggles she goes through as she attempts to develop her identity amidst societal pressure that expects her to conforms to the roles dictated by society as a woman’s.
Thesis statement
Conflicts in gender roles arise when expectations influenced and enforced by society on gender are not observed by the characters, especially when the characters desire to advance and engage in activities that seemingly belong to another gender.
Research question
Is society the reason for the existence of conflicts in gender roles?
Society’s influence on gender roles
Alice Munro’s “Boys and Girls,” story is a clear depiction of how gender roles form and continue defining the expected behavior and conduct of men and women. As noted by Hussain, Naz, Khan, Daraz, & Khan, gender entails how society expects men and women to behave. The story shows how society constructs stereotypes that it then uses to force people to perform certain roles and to avoid others based on their gender. The implication is that if society influences how people should behave, it must be knowingly or inadvertently killing the inherent creativity of all genders by forcing them to abandon their innate desires and forcing them to conform to certain expectations that in most cases do not define who they are. For instance, it is only recently that women can take up courses and activities traditionally believed to be the occupation of men. In the recent past, it was inconceivable that women could drive or become pilots, engineers, doctors, race car drivers, and other such seemingly masculine roles. Munro uses the Boys and Girls” story to illustrate the conflict both genders go through in trying to establish their identity is both external and internal, and that the ability of a person to overcome the power of the influencing societal sources that command conforming to established rules on gender roles is the only salvation for the person to live their lives fully.
The leading role in Munro’s story is a girl growing up in Canada in the mid 20th century in a family composed of a father, a mother, and Laird, her little brother. The family lives on a farm and each family member has their own roles, which they do according to society’s definition of the roles of men and women. The young girl is just getting into puberty and is struggling to carve a personal identity amidst living in a family setting differentiated by diverse gender roles, as also noted by Chang (1). The girl is not aware of any kind of gender bias in her life setting, just as happens when a child is born. Children are free to explore their interests and enjoy life because they are not restricted by superficial rules that govern how they should live their lives without caring about their uniqueness of character, creativity, and personal interests. The young girl prefers working alongside her father as seen in her assertion, “Nevertheless I worked willingly under his eyes, and with a feeling of pride” (155). She does not like being confined in the house like her mother and takes interest in doing the manual farm work that is typical of masculinity. During this time, she is not aware of any boundaries restricting her from taking part in such “manly” activities and is free to explore her creativity. The girl is free to participate in her mother’s and father’s world, which depicts the freedom of choice that children possess before they discover the existing prejudices in society that dictate who they should be. They have a safe space in which they can experience and activate their innate gifts.
However, the notion of innocence seen the young girl’s life is not the kind of innocence that is protected from responsibility and adult corruption. Instead, the young girl’s childhood is a vital, ruthless political space in which she must learn and understand about gender identities. The space is ruthless because it does not care about her passions or interests as a woman and only cares to ensure that she performs the mundane feminine roles she sees her mother performing. In light of this, Munro’s account depicts the process of socialization in a way that renders it easier to detect, showing situations that allow the reader to see the barefaced misogyny, sexism, and bias that characterize gender roles.
Munro portrays the socialization process so realistically that the reader can understand how they have been unconsciously impacted by the social prejudices that exist in the world, and which are largely to blame for the internal and external conflicts that dictate that men and women should not take up certain jobs, ultimately locking them out of opportunities for self-advancement. The implication of Munro’s portrayal of the socialization process that occurs in the society is that despite the changes that have occurred in the power of gender roles, it still exists and enforces the associated stereotypes even today.
The socialization process begins from birth and entails ascertaining the biological sex of children, assigning them a sex, and conforming them to specific gender roles. The implication is that the expectations and attitude that involve gender roles are predominantly established on the usually biased stereotypes about the behavior patterns, attributes, and attitudes of both genders and not on the innate gender differences. When a boy child is bought a car and girls are bought dolls and when boys are taunted for being cowardly like girls and girls reprimanded for having boyish tendencies, they are stereotyped and arm-twisted to “perform” their society-defined gender roles. Even today, a woman who takes up the role of the breadwinner and a man who performs housework are seen as strange and non-conforming, which gives rise to conflicts as they fail to fulfill the gender-based expectations dictated by society.
Munro’s account also depicts the intense attention focused on women’s lives in patriarchal societies, which has forced even women to force other women into the expected gender roles, just as the young girl’s mother tried forcing her daughter into “womanly” roles. Even in the contemporary world, gendered roles still influence and govern women’s lives, notwithstanding the clear depiction through the young girl’s account of how women desire to live free of the long-held myths and stereotypes about women and without conforming to society’s expectations. The fact that Munro did not give the young girl a name shows the unworthiness of women in the society, and the value of men as her little brother has a name. However, the lack of giving the young girl a name may also represent the initial freedom and personal available to a woman, which she can use to establish a personal identity in society. The young girl in Munro’s story is conflicted between choosing the “boy” life that entailed spending time with her father working on the farm, and the “girl” life that involved living with her mother in the house. The external and internal conflict shows the struggle that the young girl goes through as she attempts to find her identity. However, this depiction also characterizes males in the contemporary society because women have increasingly taken up the traditionally male-dominated workspaces; while a higher number men are now taking up housework , and thus finding themselves at conflict with the society and uncertain of their masculinity and identity as males.
The problem is that just like women and now men in the contemporary society as noted by Oláh, Richter and Kotowska, she desires to transform herself into an idyllic adult in a setting where conventional gender roles are considered as the accepted order of things. In such a setting, the mother is confined in the house and does the usual domestic chores, while the father goes out and works to provide for the family. In other words, the father, in the protagonist’s eyes and in today’s world, symbolizes firmness and confidence, showing a visible vocation and progression to his daughter, while the mother normally lives in a discontented state typified by negative conditions and predispositions, such as a dull working environment, nervousness, exhaustion, and hysteria. the young girl compared both lives and decided that she desired the creativity associated with her father’s work setting, implying that had she had the choice to follow this path, she would have exploited her talents and creativity and created a better life, not only hers, but also her family’s and the society’s. This assertion means that if society allowed people to find their identities in what they were drawn to do as directed by their innate giftings, they would accomplish much more and help deal with the numerous mental problems suffered by both genders especially in the modern life and work setting.
The young girl realizes that her mother’s bodiless disposition reveals the artificiality and superficiality of the gendered traditions burdening her life. The young girl’s mothers’ phony performance of the motherly role depicts the unhappiness of many women in patriarchal society. As the young girl describes the uncomfortable experiences her mother goes through and the strange mind-set towards society, she exposes the illogicality of the gendered norms and traditions in which her mother is compelled to act as a good mother and wife in a male-dominated society. These irrational norms still affect gender roles even today as society still objects the idea of women being in positions of power and men serving in subordinate roles, and especially when they have to answer to a woman boss. Women have struggled to take up vocational spaces that were traditionally occupied by men, which has increased conflicts on gender roles because society has still not acclimatized to the fact that these roles are continually and rapidly changing. The young girl’s enjoyment when working on her father’s farm depicts her desire to attain the freedom that would allow her to become who she desires to become. However, she soon finds out that she must bow to society’s pressure and continues putting up a fight against being boxed as she feels that it would obstruct her desire and ambition to pursue a different life from her mother’s and become someone different in society.
Implication of the Story
No gender wants to be confined to specific roles and responsibilities, especially in the modern life characterized by expensive living. The young girl detests being the traditional girl who performs meager roles and has no hope for advancing her life to become a meaningful, progressive person. The tendency by society to box women and men into performing certain roles and avoiding others based on gender is the cause for the disgruntled lives of people in society, as also implied by Lucy. Children are especially discontent with the idea of their parents choosing the vocations they should pursues while ignoring their individual interests. The young girl exhibits such discontent when she talks about the work her mother does and even views her as untrustworthy as she believes that her mother intends to confine her to boring house roles, despite her mother knowing that she hates it. The protagonist views her mother’s work as endless, dull, and strangely depressing and looks at her father’s work as important and defining the space she desires to grow in. Her desire to become different is seen in the stories she delights herself in before going to sleep. She is the leading role in these stories and always depicts herself as the hero, implying her desire to become a heroic woman in society identified by her capacity to do things differently.
Conflicts in gender roles have especially hurt women because society has erroneously depicted them as the weaker sex for a long time. This wrong perception is so ingrained that it is still difficult for women to advance anywhere in society, but especially in the modern workplaces. Even though men and women continue trying to free themselves from the traditional socialization that confines them to certain roles, they still face tremendous pressure and opposition, and in most cases, they give in and fall back into doing what society expects of them. For example, many women in different communities want to become engineers and pilots and major in sciences and technology, fields that have been traditionally considered men’s. However, many have failed to face the resistance the society puts up against their advancement in these fields and have given up. They could take up these courses in school but when they get to the workplaces, they are forced to meet certain demands before they can get a chance to work. They meet such opposition because society still expects them to stay at home and take care of their families. Thus, their desire to advance in such aspects is seen as rebellion and negating what they should be doing.
Conclusion
The young girl in Alice Munro’s “Boys and Girls” shows the struggles that emanate from people wanting to venture outside of their traditionally assigned gender roles. Traditions and society’s expectations are the elements that push people into becoming who they do not want to be, implying that such norms and traditions deter people from finding their identities. The lack of self-identity is the reason society is rampant with people with mental health issues because even though they persistently seek to know who they are, they are faced with tremendous pressure and even ridicule from society to conform to their roles. However, even when they manage to overcome these pressures at certain levels, they still find it difficult to advance as they desire because they still find elements of such traditional restrictions imposed by the socially constructed gender roles. For example, even though many women have managed to advance to higher positions of administration, they still struggle with issues of income inequality and sexual harassment. Consequently, Munro’s portrayal of the protagonist’s role in her story confirm that society the reason for the existence of conflicts in gender roles
Work Cited
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Hussain, Muhammad., Naz, Arab., Khan, Waseem., Daraz, Umar, and Khan, Qaisar. Gender Stereotyping in Family: An Institutionalized and Normative Mechanism in Pakhtun Society of Pakistan. 2015. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/2158244015595258. Accessed 15 May 2020.
Lucy. Traditional gender roles and stereotypes: How they can affect children and young people. 2018. https://www.childrenssociety.org.uk/news-and-blogs/our-blog/traditional-gender-roles-and-stereotypes-how-it-can-affect-children. http://e-asianwomen.org/xml/06587/06587.pdf. Accessed 15 May 2020.
Munro, Alice. Boys and Girls, in The Norton Introduction to Literature: Shorter eleventh Edition, ed. Kelly J. Mays (New York: W.W. Norton & Company, Inc.), 137-147. 2013.
Oláh, Livia Sz.., Richter, Rudolf and Kotowska, Irena E. The new roles of men and women
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