intergenerational dynamics and patterns that I have identified influencing my family and me in current families
A family genogram illustrates a picture of relationship configurations as well as systems entrenched in families across generations. A genogram is an essential instrument that tries to identify and understand patterns within a family history. The purpose of this paper is to discuss the genogram of the author; Elisante Mlawa, who is the index person. The genogram presented shows information about three generations of my family and my spouse’s family to include parents, siblings, grandparents, and in-laws. Furthermore, this genogram will majorly focus on family dynamics which include; strengths and resilience, family patterns, rules or ways of being, and the overall health of the family. The genogram will also elaborate who I am in the context of my family based on race/ethnicity, culture, class, gender, spiritual tradition and family life cycle. Finally, the paper will conclude with my reflection related intergenerational dynamics and patterns that I have identified influencing my family and me in current families.
Keywords: genogram, strengths, family patterns
Introduction
I was born and raised in Africa but moved to the United States in 2005 with my family. I am a proud African American with strong Christian beliefs. I grew up in a middle -class family where when a person reached working age, he or she looked for a job. During my childhood and adolescence, my country was experiencing constant civil wars as a result of ethnic hatred which left a permanent scar on my family growth in various aspects. I am the firstborn in my family. My parents got married while they were in their early 20’s, still in college. After two years in marriage, I was born, my biological sister; Lisa was born five years later. My sister and I grew up in our family home together with our parents until we moved out for college. I recently moved out of the family to live independently with my fiancé.
My mother’s family were primarily farmers, hard workers, religious, and simple people living in the countryside. My mother had a numerous family member formed from 4 siblings and my grandparents. My father was an only child. My grandparents on my father’s side were middle class, snobbish people, atheist in belief, and they never approved of my parents’ relationship or the marriage. Therefore, a constant source of conflict existed between my parents and they faulted the relationship with my father’s parents, my grandparents.
My family is identified as Black Americans who are religious and believe in Christianity, who follow the teachings of the Orthodox Church. My wife’s family members are also African Americans and Christian, but mostly Protestants and identify with the Lutheran Church. My paternal grandfather had a very strong influence on me concerning my Christian faith as most people in my homeland country are traditionalists who compel individuals to obey and live their lives according to the traditional beliefs. Considering that, my family was financially unstable; every family member was required to work hard for family success. Today, I appreciate my parent’s teachings as they prepared us to become hardworking and responsible individuals.
Genogram Interpretation
According to Goldenberg et al., (2017), in marriage and family system theory, people cannot be understood in isolation due to close relationship in the family unit, therefore, understanding a family dynamic requires a comprehension of cultural context which include; race, ethnic group membership, religion, socioeconomic status and sexual orientation which the family functions around and ultimate cultural norms by which it exists. Besides, Goldenberg et al., (2017), refers genogram as “a schematic diagram of a family’s relationship system in the form of a genetic tree, usually including at least three generations (p.470)”.
My Family’s Strengths and Resilience
After completing my family genogram project, I discovered that although my family is “normal”, it consists of strong individuals who in spite of all the hardships encountered, they have remained together. In my motherland, the Churches were generally opposed, as people believed in traditional supernatural beings. The relationship between the traditionists and the Church was cold in that both ideals tried to survive under the same roof. In this case, my paternal grandfather practiced traditional beliefs while my maternal grandmother had a very strong influence on our education regarding Christian faith as well as beliefs. She taught us how to pray and showed us how to practice the fruits of the Holy Spirit and the Ten Commandments. Furthermore, she insisted on the importance of reading the Bible regularly. I appreciate her care towards us and Christian virtues she instilled us.
Family Patterns
According to Goldenberg et al. (2017), “family problems develop and are maintained within the context of redundant interactive patterns and recursive feedback loops.” (p. 287). My family was eager to acquire knowledge and succeed in life through hard work and commitment. Although my paternal grandfather had not acquired higher education, he was determined to be successful in life. Through his hard work, dedication, and self-motivation, he was a renowned farmer during that time. Although my father attended high school, he did not perform so well, but he was lucky to secure a job in the municipal government; therefore, he was very strict on matters of education. On the other hand, my mother reached college level as her parents were very supportive. My father told me that, his parents were always in conflicts as my grandfather was alcoholic consuming traditional liquor. When he was thirteen, my grandparents divorced as my grandfather was abusive. He chose to stay with his father together with his two brothers who were fourteen and eighteen during divorce as he was facilitating their education. The same pattern has reoccurred to my father. My parents divorced in 2013 as my mother could no longer withstand his hostility and alcoholism. Before the divorce, they would continuously argue and fighting over minor issues. There was also miscommunications and lack of reciprocal empathy. My sister and I chose to remain with the mother as she was so good. However, my father had already laid a strong foundation on the ideal virtues of hard work and commitment.
My maternal grandparents had a similar determination for hard work and to succeed in life. They lived happily, and unlike my paternal grandparents, they did not have conflicts. My grandfather was a staunch Christian and died while he still serving in the church. They were normal country people, living in suburban areas in peace and harmony with nature as well as their neighbors. Three and a half years ago, my fiancé, and I decided to settle in the United States and establish our life together with our lovely daughter. Our marriage has been awesome so far except for some few conflicts which we solve amicably.
Overall Health of the Family
Generally, my family is healthy, with no history of mental illness or terminal diseases. However, I realized that diabetes, glaucoma, high blood pressure, and hypertension are prevalent in my family. My maternal grandfather suffered and succumbed of heart attack, besides he had a history of diabetes. My paternal grandmother was diagnosed with heart disease when she was in her early 30s. My paternal uncle was diagnosed with glaucoma during adolescence and unfortunately became blind. Currently, my father is struggling with cirrhosis of the liver as a result of alcoholism. My wife’s parents seem to have similar health struggles. Her father has had open-heart surgery and several stents and still struggles with this condition. Recently, my sister has had challenges with drinking. She has been found on the wrong side of the law thrice due to her drunkenness. She has also been hospitalized due to excess alcohol.
Family Influences on Personal Identity
Personal identity influences individual behaviors, either positively or negatively. When one has a good self-image, you can accomplish your goals, because a good self-image gives you the enthusiasm, energy, and determination. Obstacles are challenges that one needs to overcome in order to attain personal goals. A good self-image helps one connect harmoniously with others by achieving the set goals. On the other hand, a negative self-image diminishes an individual’s motivation or annihilates it by lack of self-confidence (McGoldrick et al., 2008). As mentioned earlier, my paternal grandparents were renowned farmers in Africa. They inspired their children to work for hand and be committed. My uncle struggles with drug addiction but has been successful in his career since he moved to Europe almost four years ago. He has also been in prison severally for minor offences. My maternal aunt has been a family role model. She also did most of babysitting me when my mother went to school. She works as a certified physician in Pennsylvania and is in her final year in theological school.
After completing this genogram assignment, I have realized that my family is not perfect, but it is a happy family. Besides, I have noted that family is essential and has sustained me through the years. Although we have experienced some unbearable challenges, we have endured them and chosen to live in love and harmony. I am happy that my family is continuing to expand as my cousins are marrying and having children.
Conclusion
Family is the cornerstone of every individual, and no one can choose his or her family. The one, a person, finds himself or herself in is the right one God chose for you. As a result of my family, I have become who I am because inside the family, I learned and achieved the most important qualities of respect, promptness, autonomy, care for the loved ones, patience, dignity, and most importantly, forgiveness. I need to hold these values, morals and beliefs while following Christ’s teachings that I grew up practicing so that I can succeed in life.