Without a doubt, there is no perfect relationship in this world. In most circumstances, challenges in relationships are solved by the affected persons, but in some instances, interventions are required from persons such as therapists and religious leaders (Bray & Stanton, 2012). For working couples and families, it is recommended that they find time to analyze their relationships frequently so that they can make sure that they are on the same page. However, sometimes, relationships are adversely impacted by things like stress and lack of interest, and these aspects cannot be easily solved between couples or among families. The two theoretical orientations that best apply in this case are the family systems theory and the cognitive therapy theory.
According to philosophers, one of the hardest things to understand is human nature primarily because people think differently (Bray & Stanton, 2012). The understanding of human nature is a concept that is a set of inherent distinguishing characteristics that comprise of ways of thinking, feeling and acting that all humans tend to possess. According to Albert Ellis, the human condition has a dual nature. The dual nature has both positive and negative cognitive procedures that are malleable and under the direction of a trained CBT therapist, may be guided towards more productive thoughts and behaviour (Bray & Stanton, 2012). Theoretical orientation helps people to understand the nature of human beings.
Numerous factors impact a person’s experience in counselling, and this includes the theoretical orientation of the counsellor. Theoretical orientation is the philosophy of a counsellor about how problems develop and how they are resolved or handled (Stanton & Welsh, 2011). It is significant because it informs counselling sessions, the objectives of counselling and the interventions required. In this case, the applicable theoretical orientations are cognitive behavioural therapy and family systems therapy. The cognitive-behavioural therapy of CBT is a purpose-oriented therapeutic approach which focuses on how peoples thinking impact their behaviour. An example is that a father may believe that he is not doing enough for his family, and this makes the father to shy away from spending time with the family. A counsellor uses this approach to recognize and challenge a person’s maladaptive thinking and how behaviour contributes to the enhancement of the problem (Stanton & Welsh, 2011). In this approach, it is normal for clients to finish homework assignments linked to their counselling goals between sessions. Also, it is most likely that the counselling sessions will be structured to help in making incremental progress towards the goal. For family systems therapy, the approach focuses on comprehending a person in his or her context of relationships or family. The problems are seen as an expression of dysfunction with a family or system. The work of counsellors is to examine the experiences of a person within the context of their family and not blame them or the family for the dysfunction. Instead, the counsellor has to observe any patterns of communication or interaction in the family (Stanton & Welsh, 2011). Likewise, the counsellor has to encourage the family to interrupt their habits and try new conduct that will help them in implementing change. Further, the family doesn’t have to physically attend the counselling with the person going to the sessions.
Moreover, Aaron Beck is the person who pioneered cognitive therapy. Arguably, cognitive therapy is the most influential and research approach to psychotherapy (Şenormancı & Şenormancı, 2018). The foundation of Aaron was his attempt to further the theory of depression by Freud. But, the study led Beck away from Freud’s approach, and he focused on the logic in which errors formed into cognitive distortions that were seen as the foundation of underlying pathology and depression. The central aspect of cognitive therapy, which later assimilated aspects of behaviourism is the continuation of negative beliefs that is a reflection of a person’s dysfunctional behaviour. Additionally, Albert Ellis contributed to the creation of the cognitive-based theory. He likewise aided in the development of behavioural therapy, philosophy and humanism when he developed rational-emotive behaviour therapy or REBT (Şenormancı & Şenormancı, 2018). Furthermore, Ellis continues to offer therapy and speaking engagements since it is part of his work, and he wasn’t to continue developing this kind of psychotherapy. Currently, people describe Ellis as a person who is humorous, colourful and abrasive and uses his energy to be productive in society.
Similarly, cognitive behaviour therapy comprises of the reorganization of persons individual statements and beliefs to create a correspondence with the person behaviour (Wills, 2013). Among working couples and families, a relationship exists between cognitions, behaviours and emotions that create cause and effect in how the individuals experience situations and events. Thus, human nature from the cognitive-behavioural perspective describes those persons who have the capability for both rational and irrational thinking (Wills, 2013). The outcome of the reasoning is the behaviour that is usually identified as the challenge or issue, but in reality, it is the symptom of faulty thinking.
Faulty thinking starts during the childhood of a person because children hear and adopt programmed thoughts just as they have heard from their parents. Therefore, when they repeat these thoughts, dysfunctional thoughts and beliefs are kept alive (Wills, 2013). According to the REBT theory of cognitive-behavioural therapy, the A-B-C theory of personality exists. In the beginning, an activating A event happens hence triggering B, which is the belief. After that it is experienced as an emotional or behavioural outcome thus C. after that, the therapy starts to disrupt the pattern when it introduces a disruptive intervention known as D. the intervention has an effect E and finally, there is a feeling F. Similarly, the intervention has numerous techniques. Also, despite the various methods that exist, the underlying therapeutic purpose is to teach clients to separate the assessment of their behaviour from their evaluation of themselves (Wills, 2013). In couple and family therapy, the most important goal is learning acceptance of oneself regardless of the imperfections that the couple or family has. Therefore, therapists confidently proceed with therapy when they can establish faulty thinking of the clients. The recognition enables then to abandon their irrational thinking and develop a rational groundwork for their life
The therapy sessions focus on the experiences of the couple and family experiences in both their professional and personal lives. The counsellor assumes the role of the learner and the client that of the doer (Wills, 2013). Also, the clients are expected to be active outside the therapy sessions with the assignments given by the counsellor so that they can continuously learn and develop. For the therapists, they need to be open and disclose their own beliefs about couples and families so that they can offer examples of healthy choices that the client can select from. Likewise, therapy using the cognitive-behavioural approach is an active and deliberate procedure which involves both the client and therapist working together to recognize the conclusions that the client has already made about couples or families and the reasons for these conclusions. Active participation from the client is vital for the success of the therapy since it enables the client to recognize the need for changes in thoughts which ultimately leads to the realization of changes in behaviour. the approach is particularly significant for treating depression and anxiety, which is as a result of family or among couples. (Wills, 2013) Also, it can help resolve the crisis among family members or couples hence ensuring their healthy life.
The CBT approach is not without criticism and limitations.one of them is that since there needs to be a confrontation when clients are challenged about their faulty beliefs and forced to explore towards a healthy change (Wills, 2013). Further, therapists have a lot of power in this approach, and they can misuse the power to force clients to have specific values or behave in a certain way, and this limits the neutrality that a therapy session needs to have. Also, the emphasis on positive thinking can be seen to be too superficial since it overlooks the importance of the past of a person (Wills, 2013). Lastly, while symptoms of family dysfunction or weak relationships between couples are eliminated, the underlying causes of problems are usually ignored, and emotions of people tend to de downplayed with logical and thought oriented aspects being overemphasized.
Additionally, family and couple relationships are multifaceted, and no two families or couples are exactly alike (Larson, 2014). However, despite the differences, all the families have a similar emotional system that is usually known as family system theory. Family system theory is an approach that views the family as a cohesive emotional unit meaning that family members are tightly linked emotionally. The theory was created by a psychiatrist known as Murray Bowen, and Murray believes that the idea will help families have good relationships since they can appreciate what connects them. The theory further states that a family operates as a system and every member of this system has a specific role to play. Also, all the members have to abide by the rules of the family (Larson, 2014). The persons in the system interact with each and respond to each other based on their roles within the system. Further, patterns are created in the system, and the behaviour of every member can easily impact the behaviour of another member predictably. Also, depending on the system, the behavioural patterns can either cause balance or dysfunction or both at the same or different times.
The theory has eight concepts that therapists can use to look into relationships of families and make sure that they are okay (Larson, 2014). The first concept is the triangle which is the relationship between three persons. It is the building block for larger family structures, and they are considered to be the most stable since a relationship between two persons is too small; hence the quick buildup of tensions. When an extra person is included in the relationship, the tension can decrease significantly since the additional person’s decreases the stress and pressure in the relationship. Also, if nothing gets resolved when there is tension among two or three family members, the tension continues to build up. In this triangle, there is always a person who is the odd one out and two very close persons (Larson, 2014). Therefore, if tension builds up between the two, one of them can go to the person they consider an outsider. The triangle is considered by therapists to be the catalyst for many family problems like the tension between parents despite it being seen as stable. The next concept is the differentiation of oneself, and it is about every person in a family being unique. People are unique because of individual personality traits and their probability of being influenced mentally. For persons who have capability emotionally not be to be easily controlled, they are less likely to create problems for the family. However, for those who are emotionally weak, they can easily create problems for the family and are the once who are encouraged to seek therapy frequently (Larson, 2014). The third concept is the nuclear family emotional procedure, and it has four fundamental relationship patterns. They are marital conflict which is conflicts between spouses that become external and dysfunction of a spouse which is about a spouse pressuring another to think or act in a particular matter (Larson, 2014). Other patterns ate the disability of one child which makes a parent focus all their anxieties on that child and emotional distance which is family members distancing themselves from one another to decrease the tension that exists between them.
The next concept is the family projection process that defines who parents can convey their emotional challenges onto their kids (Larson, 2014). The kids then inherit strengths and weakness from these, and these strengths and weaknesses can impact their relationship. An example is that if a parent sees that their kid has low self-esteem issues, they praise them all the time hence making the children dependent on frequent praises. For the children, they believe that these praises are not because of their low self-esteem. There is also the concept of multigenerational transmission procedure, and it states that kids develop the same levels of differentiation as that of their parents because they observe their parents who in turn teach them. The level of differentiation among parents and between parents and children impacts various aspects of family life and relationships such as the stability of a family, the success of couples in their profession, health of family members and marital status of parents in the family (Larson, 2014). The emotional cutoff is a concept that states that people try to manage their unresolved problems with other family members by cutting off emotional contact. It means that they don’t necessarily cut off communication, but they instead become emotionally dependent. There is similarly the concept of sibling position which looks at older siblings, middle ones and finally younger ones. For instance, older siblings tend to be leaders, while younger ones prefer to be followers (Larson, 2014). Sibling position is particularly important when it comes to choosing a marriage partner since most happy and successful marriages are those of persons in complementary sibling positions such as when an older sibling marries a younger one. The last concept is a societal emotional process, and it states that societal factors influence family systems. For instance, the condition at work can impact the relationship between couples.
Finally, in family systems therapy, the family members work together and discuss their troubles with the therapist. They work with the therapist to help relieve stress that not only strains the family as a whole but also individuals (Larson, 2014). It is critical for families and couples struggling with conflict to benefit from the family systems therapy and make sure they have good relationships. The therapy also helps cure anxiety and depression. Lastly, the therapy is more effective when a family or couple undergoes therapy together.