Headline: Why Is My Dog So Obsessed With Me – Dealing With An Obsessive Dog
There is absolutely no problem with a dog that greets you excitedly when you come home from work and will follow you everywhere you go until you say stop.
But there is a looming disaster if your dog whines when you and your partner lock him out of a room and will sit outside every door you lock yourself in until you open. You should worry if he won’t eat or play when you leave for work and you find them at the very spot you left them.
Before you start asking, ‘why is my dog so obsessed with me’ try to consider your behavior and how you have been treating your canine lately because there are high chances you have contributed to that obsession.
There are actually a number of possible reasons why your dog could be taking an excessive liking on you. It could be attention, food, exercise, separation, anxiety, or you may have unknowingly or unintentionally rewarded this behavior. Sometimes it could be something more sinister, like a behavioral disorder, perhaps?
If your furry friend is quickly turning to be ‘your’ dog as opposed to ‘everyone’s dog, you could be dealing with a Velcro dog (a dog who wants to be by their owners’ side at all times) or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) which results in obsessive behavior.
Overly obsessive behavior can be detrimental to you and your canine companion, especially if they are hurting themselves. If your dog is smothering you with obsessive affection, it’s time to know what is causing it and how you can deal with it.
Now, before we could dive into much detail on what causes obsession in dogs, it’s critical to keep in mind that behavioral changes cannot be stopped overnight. You will need to learn a few training techniques to get your dog off your hook.
I’d highly recommend checking out the video below by Dan showing you 5 step by step calming techniques to completely solve the problem.
What Causes Obsession?
It’s almost unrealistic and unreasonable to find a solution to a problem without knowing what’s causing it.
Dogs are known to be playful, friendly, and fun animals to be around. So it’s common for them to once in a while demand a cuddle, some little stroking, or become territorial about you and your home.
However, if your dog is continually following you everywhere, sitting on your lap once you sit down or sit between your legs when you are cooking, brushing, or cleaning dishes, they could be interfering with your ‘you time’ or privacy. It is unhealthy and mentally draining because you lack time to think about your own issues, and it may make it difficult to move from one door to another because they want to be there right next to you.
Some may actually tackle you and trip you off when you arrive home and won’t leave your side till you force them away. These characteristics may seem ordinary or usual, but to some extent, they may be symptoms of something even bigger.
Dogs with obsessive behavior tend to whine and stare at you and may sometimes show aggressive or guarding behavior towards those close to you, like your partner or children.
If you notice that your dog is overly concerned with a particular element of your life, they could be indicating signs of obsession. Sometimes obsession may manifest in the form of self-grooming, nail-chewing, and constant licking.
Below I will discuss a number of causes and what makes them more likely.
More Attention
Did you travel out of town and left your dog under the care of a not-so-friendly relative? Then blame yourself for your dog’s obsessive behavior. If you recently arrived, you simply need to give him the attention he deserves, and he will go back to his old self after some time. Dogs are caring and protective creatures; sometimes, they just want reassurance that you will always be there for them.
However, if the obsession was not triggered by your absence or you not giving much attention, then there is a need to worry because that is a sudden behavioral change that needs psychological help. Be sure to see veterinary to know if all is well.
Separation Anxiety
Separation anxiety is one of the common causes of obsessive dog behavior. Separation anxiety makes it hard for them to leave your side as their minds and bodies get stressed whenever you leave them alone.
Their heart may race, and they can worry themselves into depression. This will often be accompanied by overeating or lack of eating, self-harm, or destruction around their environment. Some may tear or chew things that carry your scents, such as shoes, socks, and clothes. Note that this is not to prevent you from leaving them, but them trying to cope with stress.
Reinforced Behavior
If you often give treats when your dog hugs, sits on your lap or feet, greets you when you arrive or when they wag their tail, you could be a rewarding obsession and reinforcing it with those treats unknowingly. It is simply the reason why your dog is obsessed with you.
Additionally, if your dog was initially obsessed with another toy and you repeatedly buy another when the old one gets damaged or lost, you are slowly feeding its obsession, and the attention can quickly turn from the toy to you. If you observe aggressive playing with a toy, the best thing to do is take it away and replace it with another to prevent self-harm and destruction.
Hunger or Thirst
Seasonal or periodic obsession in dogs is mostly triggered by hunger or lack of something that makes them uncomfortable.
It could also be the lost toy we just discussed above.
The hunger session is accompanied by whining, groaning, and frequent speedy moves to the food bowl. If you are too busy, you may miss the signal, and your dog ends up following you and babysitting you everywhere.
You should be worried if the obsession persists even after feeding your canine. This could mean the obsession is caused by something else, and you have a task to figure that one out. But before you start scratching your head and biting your nails with worry, make sure you are feeding your dog the right foods. Him being all over you could be his sweet way of telling you he doesn’t like what you have been feeding him lately.
Fear
If you just moved into a new neighborhood, or your family has been undergoing some hard stuff, and things haven’t been cool, your dog may become fearful and clingy during such times.
They need a lot of support and reassurance for them to get back to their jumpy selves. Also, if you moved to a boisterous place where fireworks and other sickening noises are too common, your dog may suddenly become fearful and may seek protection from you.
Know what your dog likes and what may upset or scare him, and you won’t have to deal with fear-related obsession.
Nature and Age
Some dog breeds are known to carry a genetic predisposition to compulsive behaviors.
The Golden Retrievers, Labrador Retrievers, and Doberman Pinschers often lick what they like excessively, while the Bull Terrier spin more when excited. German Shepherds are known for tail-chasing whenever their excitement is triggered. Age also plays a role in obsession.
Older dogs may suddenly develop an obsession that wasn’t there before. In this case, you may want to seriously consider taking your old canine to the vet for some checkup because this signals a medical or psychological condition.
Velcro dog syndrome
A velcro dog, also known as clingy dogs, simply means dogs that follow their owners everywhere.
I’m not talking about puppies here, but obsessive behavior in dogs from childhood to adulthood. Also, note Velcro dog syndrome is different from obsession caused by separation anxiety. The main difference between the two is the anxiety itself. Velcro dogs simply want to be with their owner, while dogs with separation anxiety obsession panic and stress when their owners are away.
Some breeds, such as the lapdogs, are bred to be dependent and are more likely to be Velcro dogs even when fully grown. Velcro dog syndrome is not harmful, and neither does it lead to self-destruction. It is like a one-year child who wants to follow and play where the other is.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric disorder characterized by compulsive actions and obsessive thoughts. A dog may be trapped in repetitive thoughts and may portray senseless or distressing behaviors that can be extremely difficult to control. It is like an addiction in humans.
The condition is accompanied by an occasional performance such as tail-spinning, air biting or licking, pacing, light and shadow chasing, chewing, scratching, and persistent barking. So if your dog won’t let you eat, take a shower or reply to an email, they could be having a compulsive obsession, where they are not in control of themselves.
How to Stop Obsessive Dog Behavior
Fortunately, not all obsession forms are intense. A dog is undeniably man’s best friend and will follow through the best way they know best. Every dog is different; some are fun-loving, others are trouble makers, while others are simply laid-back snugglers. Others, however, are a little over neurotic.
Personalities vary from one person to another, the same when it comes to dogs. Light obsessions such as licking you and wagging their tail when you arrive home are not harmful. But if the situation makes you uncomfortable or your dog ends up hurting themselves, then it’s advisable to learn how you can stop it.
Now that you already have an idea what could be causing the obsession, it’s time to put a stop to it.
Change Your Behavior
How you behave in front of your dog can significantly influence your dog’s behavior. First things first, don’t force your dog into situations that will make them feel scared or uncomfortable. If you have to take them to an unfamiliar environment, make sure you are relaxed, talk in a fun, reassuring tone, and convey that you are comfortable, and they should be too. If you have to leave them with a friend or family, don’t leave until they are fully compatible.
You also owe your dog some time off your busy schedule. They give you all the attention you need, so reciprocate it, and you won’t ever have to worry about a dog seeking attention. Reward good behavior and not an obsession.
If your dog has separation anxiety, desensitize to your movements. Many dogs believe that standing up means leaving. So your dog will always be like ‘oh uh, he is going somewhere’ And they will rise and follow you. Practice getting up and standing next to a window or doing something mundane. Repeat this behavior until your dog can stay in place when you get up
Give Proper Nutrition and Exercise
It will help if your dog gets enough exercise every day so that they don’t need to release it on you. Make sure they are eating the right foods and in the correct quantity. You can practice walking, playing fetch.
If you are dealing with an energetic and active breed, you may need to find engaging and active exercises for them to exercise enough.
Teach Listening and Obeying Commands
You may think your dog is obsessed with you because you haven’t taught them what to do and not do. It is easy for untrained dogs to go extra in their actions, which may be interpreted as an obsession.
For instance, if you have not taught your puppy the stay command, they will follow you everywhere you go. Training to listen and obey your command makes it easier for your dog to behave how you want.
If dogs are not allowed in your kitchen or bedroom, then teach it out. Reward when he obeys every command you give, and you will see how easy it can be getting your canine to do the right thing.
Train Sleeping on Their Special Place
While there is absolutely nothing wrong with having your dog sleep on your bed or share the couch with you, making sure he can sleep or sit in their doggie space doesn’t make you cruel–it is good planning.
Reward when they go there and make sure there are incentives like toys and treats or anything that will make them stay there. You never know when they will need to stay or be by themselves when you are away.
Final Thoughts
Your dog looks up to you for cues. If you don’t like them following you from room to room, then set boundaries. Instead of bashing or leading them away, offer them an acceptable alternative, and train them on acceptable behavior.
You and your dog loving each other is great. But even love has limits, and that’s what we call healthy love or rather ‘wanting the other party to enjoy their time alone sometimes.
If your dog doesn’t allow you to rest and spend your own time, you need to find a solution that will work in the long term, not just for your sanity but for your dog’s mental and physical health.
Lastly, no solution works instantly; some discipline, patience, and persistence will come in handy. It is a process…a journey, and once you are there, it will be worth the effort