Lead 15 points (14) The lead is chosen nicely, and it delivers the message properly.

Does lead capture the essence of story? Does it grab the reader’s attention? Does it set the mood and tone for the story?

Lead backup 10 points (10) Some of the paragraphs backup the lead. For instance, the section succeeding the lead discloses the identity and talks about when the deceased started ailing. The focus of the main story is stated throughout the entire story though not clearly.

Do subsequent paragraphs back up the lead? Is the focus or main point of story clearly stated?

Structure and organization 15 points (8)

The deceased’s brother’s information also contracting the disease should be at the beginning of the story after the writer stated that the deceased had been hospitalized. The information on the blood donation to the two brothers should have followed closely and the donation’s purpose. The ECMO treatment should have come next and a brief explanation of what it entails. The story, therefore, does not flow logically.

Are assertions in the story organized in a logical manner? Is there a clear focus throughout the story? Does story flow logically, with appropriate transitions?

Accuracy/Credibility 15 points (7) the writer failed to explain why the blood drive was essential. They should have noted that the donation was strictly from survivors of the coronavirus, and it was meant to replenish the blood bank since David had used up a lot of pints of blood in his treatment. The writer’s source of information regarding David’s pre-existing condition should have been disclosed. This way, the allegations and claims to having asthma are not credible. The story also failed to include the hospitals in which the two brothers were hospitalized.

Is the information in the story correct and credible? Is there proper attribution of assertions? Is the story misleading in any way? Is the story fair and balanced? (Major error of fact will result in the loss of 20 points)

Sources 15 points (5) The required number of citations was not met since the writer overused the quotes from the deceased’s father. The writer should have quoted one of the student’s professors at the chemistry department since they had interacted one on one. The writer should have also tried getting a quote from one of the doctors who treated him. Another possible source the writer should have utilized is quoting one of the deceased classmates.

Are sources appropriate and credible for story? Are their quotes useful for explaining information? Are sources appropriately attributed? Are sources appropriate to cover depth and breadth of topic? Are there enough quotes? Are required number of sources met?

Writing 15 points (8) The piece meets the length requirements since the minimum threshold is 300 words per story. Some of the sentences are not clear due to some sentences being lengthy. The story lacks conciseness, primarily where the writer used circumlocution when explaining the ECMO treatment. The use of passive voice is dominant in the story.

Word choice, clarity, conciseness. Use of short, simple sentences. Sentence construction. Active voice. Does it meet length requirements?

Mechanics 15 points ( 7) the notable mistake in mechanics is that the writer failed to observe the subsequent name references where both the first and last names were repeatedly mentioned. There is evidence of misuse of the dash in punctuation.

Proper grammar, spelling, punctuation, AP, and class style used? Has the reporter followed class assignment properly?

TOTAL POINTS

COMMENTS: The writer needs to revisit the basic rules for writing a news story to avoid making similar mistakes in the future.