Appraise Your Scholar Voice
| Style: Paragraphs | Paragraphs are consistent of medium length and convey a single idea identified by a topic sentence followed by sufficient, related evidence | Paragraphs are typical of medium length and usually convey a single idea identified by a topic sentence supported by relevant evidence; there are opportunities to improve the reader’s understanding of the author’s meaning | Paragraphs often lack appropriate length, clarity of topic, and supporting evidence to understand the author’s meaning | Score: 2 Justification: The paragraphs used in the scholarly writing are of particularly of medium size throughout the paper, except for one paragraph; paragraph three, and the writer needs to check on it in terms of length. The paragraphs begin with topic sentences that provide the general idea in the paragraphs and supported by the other sentences in the paragraph. For example, in paragraph two, the first sentence introduces the concept of cultural competence in schools and supported throughout the paragraph. The lengths of the sentences in the paragraphs throughout the writing should be checked (Nash, 2019). It is therefore imperative to state that there is room for improvement in the scholarly paper under the topic ‘Cultural Competence.’ |
| Style: Sentences | Sentences consistently vary in structure and length to support understanding of the author’s meaning and maintain the reader’s attention | Sentences often vary in structure and length, though there are opportunities to improve the reader’s attention and knowledge of the author’s meaning | Sentences often lack sufficient variety of structure and length to maintain the reader’s attention or understanding of the author’s meaning | Score: 1 Justification: The writer did not structure the sentences properly in terms of variety. It is seen in the sentence, “These simple acts, therefore, do not help international students in their struggles because the concept of diversity has not been entirely broadened to cover all issues to do with cultural competence.” It is in the fourth paragraph is unclear and hard to understand. Another example is in the sentence, “This is to prevent issues that crop up from harsh backgrounds such as slavery,” in the fifth paragraph is unclear. ‘This‘ is a pronoun used in place of a noun, and it is unclear, particularly which noun it stands for. Such sentences make it impossible for the reader to understand the general idea of the writer (Nash, 2019). |
| Style: Words | Word choices are consistently professional, precise, neutral, respectful in order to understand the author’s meaning | Word choices are usually professional, precise, neutral, respectful, though there are opportunities to improve the reader’s understanding of the author’s meaning | Word choices often lack sufficient professionalism, precision, neutrality, and respect to understand the author’s meaning | Score: 2 Justification: The choice of words by the writer exhibits a few statements that lack neutrality. For example, “… those from economically disadvantaged backgrounds cannot afford quality education in private schools and end up in low-cost schools that have inadequate learning facilities” at the end of the third paragraph is biased. The attitude is somehow negative, with reference to the minority group in society. |
| Voice | Consistently uses active voice; the author’s own voice is prominent and unobscured by use of direct quotations | Typically uses active voice; the author’s own voice is sometimes obscured by unnecessary use of direct quotations | Voice is usually passive; the author’s own voice is obscured by excessive use of direct quotations | Score: 1 Justification: The paper on Cultural Competence exhibit excessive use of passive voice throughout the paper. “be achieved, are filled, be translated, are overlooked, be analyzed, be achieved, and be safeguarded” are some of the passive voices used in the paper. For the voice to be prominent in writing, the writer needs to use his or her own voice (Darmawan, 2018). It will ensure that the writer actively interacts with the reader and effectively (Gullion, 2016). |
| Tone | The tone is consistently formal, objective, and clear and supports understanding of the author’s meaning | The tone is typically formal, objective, and clear, though there are opportunities to improve the reader’s understanding of the author’s meaning | Tone often lacks sufficient formality, objectivity, details, or clarity to understand the author’s meaning | Score: 2 Justification: The tone of the writer is formal even though there are a few statements in the paper that may portray a negative attitude of the writer ( Pagliawan, 2017). Statements such as “… they need to change from mere lectures” exhibits a different notion that lecturers are somehow inferior in the spheres of education. |
Strengths
The writer exhibit proficiency in the construction of paragraphs in the paper. The paragraphs in the essay are well structured. Each paragraph begins with a topic sentence that carries the general idea to be discussed in the paragraph. It gives the reader an easy time to pick up the general purpose of the paper from each paragraph in question. The other sentences in the paragraphs effectively support the theme in the paragraph. For the most part of the paper, the reader uses the correct choice of words that are scholarly. The words are precise and easily understood by the reader. The tone in the paper also exhibits proficiency in professionalism. The writing is generally formal, and also objective in accordance with the topic in question.
Opportunities for Improvement
The writer needs to check on the excessive use of passive voice. The use of active voice in the most part of the paper is essential in the interaction of the writer with the reader of the scholarly article. The sentence structure is also an area that the writer needs to improve on. Using pronouns in place of nouns should indicate precisely which nouns the pronouns represent.
References
Darmawan, A. A. (2018). A Study of Students ‘errors In Using Written Passive Sentence. Jurnal Edukasi: Kajian Ilmu Pendidikan., 4(2), 89-98.
Gullion, J. S. (2016). Active/Passive. In Writing Ethnography (pp. 69-71). SensePublishers, Rotterdam.
Nash, R. (2019). Liberating scholarly writing: The power of personal narrative. IAP.
Pagliawan, D. L. (2017). Feature Style for Academic and Scholarly Writing. Academic Journal of Interdisciplinary Studies, 6(2), 35-35.