Beyond Midlife Interview
With women empowerment at the forefront of many discussions in the world, there have been vast talks on the issue to promote equality on both the male and female gender, since women feel like that have been oppressed by men for a long period. This has been associated with the societal influences that have promoted the behavior of gender imbalance, which gradually grew from the age of our ancestors to our current era. Among the societal influences include the media and family members.
Being a man, we have been influenced into having certain beliefs that have segregated us from women. From a young age, I have always believed that men are the sole providers for their families. On the other hand, women are supposed to take care of their families, including carrying out house chores and cooking for the family members. I have always grown up with that perspective of life, and it has shaped me into being who I am today. Men who do not work and provide for their families are not seen as productive since the society has made us believe that we ought to not to carry out the roles that were meant for women. Although the current society addresses the claim, we both have the idea as men that we should still be the sole providers of our families. Nowadays, women also provide for their families together with their male counterparts, whereas in some families, women are the sole providers. This has been occurring for a while now, to promote the issue of equality among both genders. Centuries ago, this would not be evident in our society, since women only stayed at home while men went to work. This was evident throughout the industrial revolution period (Dicke, 2019), where most workers in the industries were men, since they were considered strong and agile compared to women.
Society has had an influence on how I have viewed both genders since I was young. I used to play with fellow boys when I was a child since it was a much comfortable space for me. According to Brannon’s Gender Psychological Perspectives (2017), children of the same gender interact together better than those of different genders. That was very evident as I grew up. I would choose male friends over female ones since my friends would tell me that staying around girls for a long period would influence my behavior and character. This had a great deal in my choice of friendships as I grew up. It is evident in my current life, where I have more male friends compared to female ones. The media also had a great influence on how I view both genders. In TV commercials, it is seen that women mostly participate in advertisements that deal with kitchen activities. Most business that concern cutlery and washing soap use women as the main characters. Promotions that deal with equipment like lawnmowers often use men as the lead roles. This has been divisive in terms of gender roles and how we both view each other. In movies and film that involve science, women mostly appear as supporting and secondary acts, hardly getting the lead parts (Brannon, 2017). Both of the two examples of how the media has been divisive in terms of gender roles have had an influence on how I view both genders. They view women as less capable in certain fields, as well as men having less abilities in certain areas of life. Despite this, the society has been changing the assumption and both genders are being incorporated in both fields (Aimers, 2017), where men carry out women’s roles as well as women carrying out men’s roles in the society.
Family members also influence how people view of both genders. They shape the attitudes that children embrace from when they were young until old age, which always has an impact on the child’s behavior. Their characters are later reinforced by the media, friends, and certain school experiences. The influence is seen to be the strongest among the peers due to the period children spend with people their own age. I would see my parents engaging in various activities at home. My dad used to carry out activities that involve a lot of strength, including lawn-mowing while my mum would mostly cook for the whole family and do other kitchen work. This shaped me to realize the distribution of roles in the society, with women mostly taking part in house chores, while men engaging in activities that require much strength. It is also seen that parents are representations of gender-typical character, through their characters and works. Children study how men and women act through observing the dissimilarities between their dads and mums in terms of distribution of roles in the society (Joyce J. Endendijik, 2018). This limits both genders and depicts how families can have much influence to a child when growing up.
The issue of gender has been a sensitive topic in the society and it has been discussed for various decades by many generations. Many people have engaged in various talks to identify the reasons behind gender division among men and women in the society that have led to lack of equality evident in today’s society. I conducted an interview with my grandmother, a 77- year old woman, who lives in a nursing home around the state, to understand how gender was being viewed in her times as compared to now.
Me: Hello grandmother, how are you. I hope you are well. I have a few questions about how gender was viewed during your early days that I would like to ask and find some answers too.
Grandmother: Hello John. I would be glad to answer you.
Me: What were your goals as a young woman? Have those goals changed?
Grandmother: When I was young, I used to dream about being a pilot. I was born during the World War 2 period, and I had a chance to see how my father, a military personnel, used to carry out his duties as a captain. I used to picture myself flying a plane too, and the thought of it just excited me. I wanted to study aviation once I completed my high-school, although that was not possible. My mother had trained me on how I should work on being a woman who would be always available for her husband when he came home from work. She told me the importance of always being in the house, preparing food for the family and carrying out housework. Due to that, I never got an opportunity to further my studies and achieve my dream of becoming a captain like my dad. Of course my goals changed, since I did not have an opportunity to achieve what I had intended to accomplish while I was young. I ended up becoming a nurse, taking care of old people, some of who had been injured during the Second World War.
Me: How do you think things are different for women growing up today compared with when you grew up?
Grandmother: Things were quite different for women when I was growing up, compared to now. During our times, women used to engage in duties that were seen as feminine, with few women graduating from college. Men were sensitized on the importance of undertaking courses that were inclined to sciences and engineering, with few women undertaking such technical courses. Women were seen as not being able to handle such courses due to the complexity that the courses were assumed to have. Right now there has been various advancements in technology compared to my times. Jobs that involve use of much strength have been simplified and made favorable for women, making it easier for us to engage in such technical jobs. Women are also informed nowadays compared to before, with much sensitization on undertaking engineering and technical jobs and that has been beneficial to our gender.
Me: How did you experience dating, friendships, menstruation, leisure time?
Grandmother: During our time, dating was quite different as compared to now. We did not have the internet and social media where we could connect with people from other areas easily. I met your grandfather when I was twenty two years old after I completed my college studies. Before I completed my studies, my parents never allowed me to engage in relationships with men since they saw that as a distraction. I used to have a lot of friends when I was young due to my outgoing personality. Most of my friends were my fellow girls, who we used to school with from kindergarten to high school. I used to interact with them most of the time, sharing our girly experiences together and how we would have boyfriends behind our parents’ backs. In our times, menstruation was also not well handled as seen currently. Pads used today are much more comfortable to wear and disposable. Ours were too large and thick, and at some point, we used to put on pads that were reusable. Compared to now, things are better, since women are more educated on how to handle their menses, with the vast availability of pads to help control the flow. I used to spend most of my leisure time helping out on chores at home. I would clean the house and the dishes when I was still staying at my parents’ house, and later on learn knitting. My free time basically involved helping my mother in doing house chores.
Me: Are things better for women today or worse?
Grandmother: Things are definitely better for women today, no doubt about that. There has been an increased emphasis on equality of both genders, with very powerful women in the forefront. Women are now insisting on the importance of being equally able as men and in the current state, we see there are a lot of women engaging in science, technology and engineering programs. During out times, only few women would engage in such fields, and for them to achieve that, that had to work harder than men. Women are more aware of their rights currently, and they are learning how to embrace them. They do not take lightly being treated as inferiors by men.
Me: Today, what do you find most and least pleasurable about being a woman?
Grandmother: The most pleasurable thing about being a woman today would be the level of equality that the society has embraced. It has not been there for a long time since my childhood days and it has come to a point where the universe see all humans as being equal despite the gender. The least pleasurable thing about being a woman is the decline in values among girls nowadays. Women are easily accessible to men and this has made it hard for marriages to last as compared to our times as seen from the high rate of divorces experienced in the society.
Me: How do you view Women and men, sex, gender, and feminism?
Grandmother: I view men and women as equal beings and what a man can do a woman can also do. That should be embraced by the society since it will continue making the world a better place. I also admire how the American society has accepted the homosexuals and heterosexuals members of the community. The discrimination that was once there is no longer evident in today’s society, and most members of the society have come to terms with the different sexualities. Stereotypes of both genders has also diminished and we are both viewed as equals in the society. Women are rarely being seen as home managers and housekeepers like they used to be viewed before. This has been achieved through the rise of feminism in today’s society.
As seen from the interview, women were not seen as equals by men in the society for a long time. The society has shaped us into believing the women should only engage in housework as men solely concentrate in providing for their families. Today, things have changed and the assumptions the society has about gender roles have been wiped out. More women engage in STEM programs than men today in colleges and that has continued to be a factor in achieving the equality needed in our society. With the continued sensitization, equality will be achieved fully, and the society will change the narratives that have existed concerning gender roles.
References
Aimers, K. A. (2017, April 11). Pennstate. Retrieved from Social Change in the society: https://www.sites.psu.edu/aspsy/2017/04/11/social-change-in-the-society/
Brannon, L. (2017). Gender Psychological Perspectives. New York: Routledge.
Dicke, A.-L. (2019, May 8). Frontiers in Psychology. Retrieved from Traditional Gener Role Beliefs and Career Attainment in STEM: A Gendered Story?: https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.01053/full
Joyce J. Endendijik, M. G. (2018, March 16). Springer Link. Retrieved from The Gender Family Process Model: An Integrative Framework of Gender in the Family: https://www.link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-018-1185-8