Composition 1 Unit 2- Discussion Board
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George’s message was unsuccessful in achieving its primary purpose, causing frustration to the instructor for various reasons. George does not apply to etiquette while writing his letter. He does not use a persuasive tone but instead uses a commanding voice to address his issue to the instructor. What appears more frustrating is the fact that he claims his urgency for help in an authoritative voice as it seems like the instructor has no other option than helping him right away.
George’s audience is Mr. Smith, and the purpose is to request for help in his Unit 2 discussion board assignment. There are various ways through which George could have been successful in writing his message. By improving his word, George can be more transparent by expressing his message more straightforwardly while avoiding overwriting. It is also essential that he completes his statements by thinking of the situation from the reader’s perspective. Lastly, he must proofread for any errors before sending the message.
When expressing his purpose, Gorge would elaborate on the key areas where he needed help rather than insisting on how much success means to him. To connect better with the audience, George would set boundaries, build a relationship before presenting his problem, and provide short and relevant content to the instructor. George could also apply a polite tone to persuade the instructor to help him rather than command his help. Lastly, various grammatical and spelling errors need to be fixed within the text. For instance, he writes no instead of know and supposted instead of supposed. Moreover, most of his sentences are too long. Therefore, to receive help, then we should always be cautious about how we present our issues.