Divorce Negatively Affects Families
Currently, there are fewer stigmas associated with divorce and it has become a very common event in many marriages. Nonetheless, this is a very traumatic and negative experience for the entire family since it not only the divorcing couples that are victims but also their children. The parents are faced with a new challenge of how to handle their new relationship and at the same time establish a new routine for parenting. Children on the other hand have varying reactions towards the transition with most struggling with becoming accustomed to their new family structure (Donahey, 2018). It is however important to note that, couples have varying approaches to divorce where some may be amicable while others may have messy and protracted battles during the process. While aware of the fact that not all families experience painful divorce ordeals; the magnitude and adversity outcomes of divorce are generally detrimental to a family.
Family units are unique in terms of economic, social, and emotional resources which are all diminished by divorce. In most instances, the family break-up in divorce leads to the mother being the custodial parent with most fathers being granted less physical time. It follows that such parents are concurrently faced with coping with their personal loss and at the same time modify their parenting as a divorced parent (Mendes, & Bucher-Maluschke, 2018). Consequently, they lack enough parenting time and also adequate emotional strength to satisfy their children’s needs. Children, therefore, suffer as a result since they are not getting enough attention from their parents leading to strained relationships with either or both parents. The economic security of a divorced family is also lower compared to that of a normal family unit. Divorce leads to parents supporting two households meaning that both parents have to work in order to provide for their respective homes. Research has shown that single-mother households caused by divorce are more susceptible to living in poverty (Boertien, Bernardi, & Härkönen, 2017). This is because most men neglect their children following a divorce and women are left with the sole responsibility of providing. As a result, divorced families experience more difficulty in establishing upward financial mobility compared to their married counterparts. The splitting of households in most cases also leads to a change of residency which affects the social network of the family since it reduces interactions with close family and friends. Additionally, the family’s routines and traditions are affected which weakens relationships with relatives and friends.
The long term negative effects of divorce on families are more prevalent in children than in the divorcing couples. As illustrated above, most parents will only suffer emotionally and financially following a family breakdown. Divorce affects kids in a severe way since it leaves them confused, frustrated, and scared and these effects linger well into their future (Donahey, 2018). After divorce, children are exposed to decreased academic encouragement and motivation, affection, and warmth from both parents and also peer-pressure while they search for acceptance among their peers. Due to the sudden change of the family, children can either blame themselves or one of their parents and this affects the child-parent relationship. These feelings of guilt can exert undue pressure on children and since they fear approaching their parents the lack of an outlet can lead to an onset of long term mental health issues (Boertien et al, 2017). The primary custodial parent may also feel overwhelmed juggling between work and home and this causes them a lot of stress. It often leads them into being less affectionate and supportive of their children’s academics or daily life. This in turn affects the academics and discipline of most children from divorced families. This is because they will find an outlet for their anger and frustrations within their peers and exercise it in form of violence, risky sexual behaviors, drug abuse, and crime. Divorce has therefore been linked to high rates of drop-outs in high school, antisocial behaviors, teenage pregnancies, and juvenile delinquency in children (Bernardi, Härkönen, & Boertien, 2013). In addition, the dissolution of a marriage affects the psychological growth of a child with respect to how they view future relationships. The altered family dynamics in most instances create a downward spiral of broken marriages where the children may experience difficulties maintaining romantic relationships in the future. The divorce process is thus traumatizing for children and it implants very negative opinions about relationships, family, and marriage which they hold on to as a means of protecting themselves from the pain and betrayal.
Paying close attention to the fact that divorce is not always painful, the magnitude and adversity of its outcomes are unfavorable to families. Divorce is responsible for the diminishing of economic, social, and emotional resources of a family. This leads to strained relationships between not only parents but also with their children. Families end up spending less time together which affects their support structure. Similarly, it also leads to reduced income for the family and thus stagnated financial mobility. Social ties for the family unit are also interrupted due to the moving of houses eliminating the external support structure from relatives and friends. However, the biggest casualties of divorce in a family are children. Divorce affects their emotional stability leading to poor coping mechanisms that lead them into violence, crime, drug abuse, and risky sexual behavior. Divorce further affects the perceptions of children towards relationships affecting their ability to maintain healthy marriages in adulthood.
References
Bernardi, F., Härkönen, J., and Boertien, D.(2013). Effects of family forms and dynamics on children’s well-being and life chances: literature review. Retrieved from http://www.familiesandsocieties.eu/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/WP04BernardiEtal2013.pdf
Boertien, D., Bernardi, F., and Härkönen, J. (2017). Family Dynamics and Inequalities in Children’s Life Chances: Summary and Key Findings from WP5. Retrieved from http://www.familiesandsocieties.eu/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/BoertienBernardiHarkonen2017.pdf
Donahey, K. (2018). Effects of Divorce on Children: The Importance of Intervention. Intuition: The BYU Undergraduate Journal in Psychology. 13(1).
Mendes, J., & Bucher-Maluschke, J. (2018). Destructive Divorce in the Family Life Cycle and its Implications: Criticisms of Parental Alienation. Psicologia: Teoria E Pesquisa, 33(0). https://doi.org/10.1590/0102.3772e33423