Peer review
How coronavirus changed the World by Eddie Chung
I like the introduction of the essay, Chug has begun by outlining, in general, some of the changes happening in the United States since the pandemic hit. In the process, the writer has given a personal experience with the pandemic, where he says he was laid off from his part-time job in an Italian restaurant. The ability of the writer to relate to his personal experience gives the reader a notion that the writer knows what he is writing. At the end of the introduction, the writer has introduced a thesis statement. The thesis statement helps the reader understands the purpose of the essay or what the reader should expect.
In the second paragraph, the writer went out of the topic. Since he already hinted in the first paragraph he was laid off, he does not have to repeat the same narrative in the second paragraph. In the second paragraph, the writer should have introduced the first point on how the pandemic has affected the state economically, giving examples and statistical back up if possible. The writer should introduce one point after another, each one paragraph well explained and supported with evidence that way the leader can easily follow. The writer has many points, but the work lacks coherence. The points are mixed up, making it difficult to follow. The work lacks a concluding paragraph, which is vital in closing an essay. In the end, I see the sources attached: however, they were not included in the essay, which makes them irrelevant.
How to Solve Corruption by Silas Hillman
The opening introduction is good because Silas has begun by introducing literature from great scholar Martin Luther King Junior and at the end of the writer has introduced a thesis statement outlining the purpose of the essay. However, in the introduction paragraph, he quotes Martin Luther King Junior and fails to indicate which source he acquired this quote, which is very important in an essay as it gives credit to the author.
In the body part of the essay, the client has well-outlined points easy to follow. However, through the essay, the writer has included quotes sourced from different sources but has failed to indicate the authors of the work, making the work plagiarized. The writer has strong points, but he fails to put sources. For example, the statistical data from the fed he should have indicated where he sourced the data eliminating incidents of vagueness. The writer’s topic is “How to Solve Corruption,” but nowhere in the paper, the writer talks about corruption, but the work is on capitalism. He should change the topic to read capitalism, not corruption. The writer indicates he is not finished yet, therefore, he can include some of the things I highlighted to improve the essay. Otherwise, it is a good paper.