Stepfamily dynamics
- Dr Cherlin’s assertion that stepfamilies are incomplete institutions due to lack of social scripts is still relevant today. Rights, responsibilities, emotional and legal ties in traditional families are based on social norms and legal frameworks. However, stepfamilies have to navigate through family roles without societal norms as guides. Step-parents take on tasks that are not well-defined, and children are unaware of what to expect in the new family dynamics.
- Challenges experienced in stepfamily dynamics are two-fold: challenges faced by adults and challenges faced by children. Adults in the relationship take on unique parental roles. Step-parenting is particularly tricky when one is a first-time parent. Step-parents have to find the balance between instillation of discipline and gaining acceptance by the children, and it can be stressful. Sustaining a healthy co-parenting relationship with former partners is also a challenge in stepfamilies where the new parent has to learn how to be a parent without replacing the biological parent. Children, on the other hand, are faced with the problem of adjustment where they have to conform to new rules and family dynamics. Children who witnessed their parents’ divorce or the death of a parent find it especially difficult. Children will often feel their parent is being replaced by the new parental figure, which can result in resentment towards the new parent.
- Stepfamilies face stigmatization and negative stereotypes. They are ‘perceived as being less functional and desirable than original two-parent families’(Remarriages and stepfamilies,11). The media is primarily responsible for shaping our perception of the dynamics of stepfamilies. Although shows about stepfamilies are rare, the few that exist often portray them in a negative and impractical manner. For instance, in Cinderella, a Disney fairytale, the main character Cinderella is mistreated by her stepmother. Such shows instil fear of stepmothers among children because they are portrayed as evil. In the Brady Bunch, an American sitcom that revolves around a blended family with six children, the family is depicted as problem-free, which is unrealistic even in traditional families.
- Effective communication is the cornerstone of good family relations, especially with stepfamilies. Since dynamics change with the integration of two families, changes in roles and responsibilities are bound to happen. Communication provides an avenue for discussing the new family dynamics, new tasks each member of the family, and feelings related to the change attributed to the new family. Counselling should be considered as a viable option as it is instrumental in helping stepfamilies establish realistic expectations and define roles with the unique problems that emanate from blending.
- Societal notions determine the support stepfamilies receive, which impacts their functionality. We, therefore, as a society, need to normalize stepfamily dynamics in different ways. For instance, the media should have shows that highlight the structure of different types of stepfamilies without exaggeration of issues. They should also highlight the strengths and challenges associated with stepfamilies. ‘Schools, hospitals, and other institutions could adopt more inclusive language’ (Clinkscales,36). As a stepchild myself, having gone back and forth between my parents’ houses in different states, schooling was difficult as I had to split my school year between two schools. It is, therefore, crucial for schools to have files for their learners. These files need to have information on the student’s family background. Such records help teachers handle students from stepfamilies as challenges in stepfamily dynamics can have adverse effects on the child’s education.
Works Cited
Clinkscales, Jennifer J. “We’re Just Family’: African American Stepfamilies’ Perspectives on Stepfamily Life and the Impact of Institutional Racism.” University of Pennsylvania, ScholarlyCommons, 2019.
“Remarriage and Stepfamily Life.” Powerpoint slides