Student Experience
My childhood was rocked with family chaos, which in turn affected my social and school life. At the age of eight, my father, an immigrant from Eritrea to the US, became addicted to crack cocaine. All my childhood problems revolved around the addiction of my father. I was only but a child when I had to fill the shoes of my father and become a support system for my mother. Ideally, children my age were supposed to have play dates and have fun. However, I did not get the chance to enjoy the childhood phase because of the many responsibilities I had. Sometimes, I lived in a fantasy with a loving father and a stable family, just like the families on TV. At some point, the school became a haven because the environment was much better than my chaotic home. I was paralyzed with fear and anxiety because my father was unpredictable and did the unthinkable. However, amid all the chaos, fear, pain and stress, my peers, teachers and the school janitor furthered my success in school. I received encouragement and hope during the most challenging moments of my life, making my life more tolerable and hopeful.
Peers
My peers played a significant role in curving my interest in school. The best interaction I had was with my best friend. My best friend, George, kept my secrets and defended me when I got bullied. Also, George encouraged me to focus on school so that I could have a better future. I remember specifically when I was thirteen years old; my mother arranged a play date for George and me. We were so excited and ran home to catch the ending of our favourite soap opera, Passions. To our disbelief, we found that my father had sold the TV! Not only had my father sold the TV, but also our new shoes, clothes, game consoles, and piggy banks to finance his addiction. I have never felt so angry and sad in my life. Embarrassed and with tears balancing in my eyes, I asked George to leave because I wanted to be alone. Instead of going, George hugged me tightly and assured me everything would be okay. The afternoon that was supposed to be a play date turned out to be a therapy session with my best friend. George remained my support system because he never told anyone about my home troubles. If word got out that my father sold our TV to buy drugs, I would have been the subject of discussion for months on end. Whenever my mother was too sad to talk, I visited George, and he would patiently listen to my troubles.
In school, George encouraged me to focus on my studies. George used to tell me, “if you are born poor, it is not your fault, but if you die poor, it is your mistake.” Therefore, I had a goal to achieve, and I could not allow my chaotic family to get in the way. Severally, George would borrow books from the library and lend them to me. Our financial status could not allow me to own a library card. Furthermore, we lived far from the library, and I could not afford the bus fare. Since I liked to read, George always made sure I had a new book to explore. I am forever grateful to George for his kind gesture.
My worst experience with my peers was with bullies. In addition to my troubles at home, I was bullied at school. The bullying started when I got lunch-shamed. The school came up with a policy where children with unpaid lunch debts would not receive a hot lunch. I had reached the end of the line with my tray when my name got called out. I was asked to take my food to the trash because I had lunch debt. I will never forget the laughter and the jeering as I walked to the trash can. I ran to the hallway and cried my heart out, wondering what I did wrong to deserve such humiliation. To worsen my experience, George was not in school that day, and I felt utterly alone. From the day I was lunch-shamed, bullies started picking on me, calling me “glutton” because I wanted to eat food on debt. I remember I cried myself to sleep for months dreading to go to school. My eyes became red and puffy from crying that I earned another nickname, “tomato eyes”. The school that was once a haven now turned to another hell away from home.
Getting lunch shamed and bullied by my peers hindered my interest in school. I would dread attending school in fear of being bullied. Furthermore, missing lunch on many occasions reduced my concentration in class. Although George always offered to share his lunch, sometimes I did not want to feel like a parasite and therefore declined his offer. During the lunch session, I would sit in the hallway by the stairs and read a book. I struggled to concentrate in class because of the hunger pangs in my stomach. However, the desire for a better future was stronger than the hunger pangs.
Teachers
My teachers were a significant part of my student experience. I considered the teachers my parents away from home. Particularly, Miss Gloriana influenced my perspective on life. One afternoon Miss Gloriana summoned me to her office. I was nervous because only the bad kids used to get summoned. However, on my arrival, Miss Gloriana handed me a sandwich and asked about my father. I later came to learn that Miss Gloriana had asked around about my background after noticing how withdrawn and unattached I was. I narrate my woes, and Miss Gloriana was empathetic. Surprisingly she had grown up with a drug-addicted father, and she understood my situation correctly. As I witnessed the addiction cycle with my father many times over, Miss Gloriana encouraged me, and I was able to cope with the cycles. Miss Gloriana was my role model because she had turned her life around and empowered me to live above the hurdles.
One specific incident with my gym teacher almost hindered my interest in school. I had cried myself to sleep the previous night because of my father. Therefore, I was in a sombre mood, even during the gym session. As we ran, I twisted my ankle and fell. I started crying my pain away. I recalled the chaos of the previous night, and the chaos that awaited for me at home and cried even harder. My gym teacher gave me a scolding, telling me that I was not the only student with a troubled home; therefore, I had to stop distracting his session. The other students started mumbling and laughing at me. Instead of asking the students to continue running, the gym teacher asked them to laugh even harder so that I would understand that life was tough. On that particular day, I almost dropped out of school because I was unable to bear more humiliation.
Other people
The school janitor became a close companion when I was a student. Whenever I had lunch debt, I did not bother to go to the cafeteria to get lunch to avoid getting lunch-shamed. Instead, I would sit in the hallway by the stairs and read a book. The closet of the janitor was opposite the stairs, and he would pass the hallway severally. One day he sat next to me, and we started talking. I did not believe that he had worked in our school for twenty years, and I did not even know his name. Everyone in the school called him “the janitor”. Mr Fernando, as I soon came to learn his name, was a very jovial person. Mr Fernando made the lunch session seem so short because his stories were captivating and full of humour. Once in a while, Mr Fernando would share his sandwich, and we would munch amid his never-ending stories. I always looked forward to the lunch session because Mr Fernando would make me forget all my troubles. One day, amid our laughter, Mr Fernando said to me, “people like us are not meant to give up. I am a school janitor not because I want to but because I have to. You, however, can live a different life. all you have to do is acknowledge your past and work hard to change your future.” I always took the words of Mr Fernando into account whenever I felt like giving op. I understood that I was the only person responsible for my future and blaming my father would pull me down. It was surprising how Mr Fernando, a school janitor empowered me, despite his work position and social status. Mr Fernando taught me never to despise anyone because a person is a person no matter how small.
I always dreaded the lunch lady in school. I remember the day I got lunch-shamed, she was the one who shouted my name and ordered to throw my food. I always wondered why she ordered me to throw away perfect food, yet I was starving. The lunch-shaming incident made me doubt humanity in all aspects of life. Although I never interacted with the lunch lady personally, she hindered my success in school. I never saw the point of attending school to become a better person, yet the people surrounding us treated the needy in such an inhumane manner. Although I later came to understand that the lunch lady was only following orders, I considered her a villain because she gave people a reason to bully me.
Conclusion
I found a support system when my life was in crisis. My mother was depressed, and I had to become her pillar of support at an early age. My life was burdened with many responsibilities, and I was overwhelmed. My childhood got engulfed in chaos, fear and anxiety, and without the unwavering support I had, my life would have turned into a living nightmare. Based on my life experience, I realized I wanted to help other people and encourage them to reach their potential. I want to empower people who feel have lost hope in life just like George, Miss Gloriana and Mr Fernando helped me and gave me a crying shoulder. A career in social work will align perfectly with my aspiration, as this is a profession that engenders social change and the empowerment of people.