Technology is essential aspect of human life
English.
Introduction.
Technology is currently an essential aspect of human life. It applies to almost everything a person could possibly do, and as a result, it has eroded the traditional ways of human interactions. One of the human aspects that has been affected by the rise and popularity of various forms of technology is romantic relationships. Social media and text messaging has taken over, and they basically dictate the dynamics of romantic relationships across the globe. Far from the traditional basic need for communication that technology satisfies in relationships, it has mutated into other complicated aspects like sexting which entail the sharing of photographs and raunchy texts among people in a relationship. There are also a series of trust and betrayal issues couples face that could also be associated with the impact of technology in one way or the other. As a result, it is quite challenging to navigate the challenges in modern relationships.
Given the complex impact of technology on relationships, one of the literary works that could probably shed more light on this aspect is the story’ Cat Person’ by Christine Roupenian. It is a story about a 20-year old female student and a 34-year old man whose relationship grows over text messaging through which they discuss banal subjects that characterize the 21 century flirting. After a period of exchanging messages, their relationship is put to a real test where it fails hence highlighting the complexity that the technological aspect of texting casts over romantic relationships. In this regard, even though texting helps in lessening anxiety and reducing uncertainty in relationships when primarily used as the mode of communication in romantic relationships, it poses a risk of ambiguity and misinterpretation that would distort the mutual understanding that is needed between two people in a relationship. This paper will expand on this claim in both literary and scholarly contexts and then conclude by summarizing the main points.
Literary analysis.
What the story says about current society.
The ‘Cat Person’ story by Christine implies that the outlook of society is now characterized by the need to be right as an aspect of social conditioning. The need to be right could be defined as the need of people to be in control of everything in their lives, including people in their lives. This social aspect resonates with the story as it touches on power imbalances between younger women and older men and the dynamics of coercion that could result from it. Currently, society as a whole is in a dilemma as there are spouses, parents and even bosses who are obsessed with the need to be right. These people always believe that they are right, and things should be done their way. This conditioning and its effects are evident among people who are being married or getting into relationships with people that insist that they are superior and they should make all decisions that have to be made. There are also adult children who have parents that have this kind of thinking. This kind of social conditioning is making interactions quite tricky. They throw any chance for mutual consent out of the window and creates an environment of reward for conformity and punishment for resistance that makes interactions difficult. An example is a relationship with a spouse who holds all the financial cards or dealing with bosses who have powers to hire, demote, or even fire people.
What the story implies about the effects of texting on romantic relationships.
In line with the need to be right as a social conditioning that the story tells about society today, the story specifically implies that texting as a mode of communication makes romance a little bit complicated, as it allows room for such social conditionings to blossom between people in a romantic relationship. In the story, readers could understand this point by monitoring the texts between Robert and Margot. Texting as the mode of communication between him and Margot led to his ‘my way or the highway’ attitude. This attitude is evident even before they start texting but texting worsens it to some extent. First he demands her phone number by telling Margot; ‘concession-stand girl, give me your phone number’ (Roupenian, n.p). This implies that he is a control freak and if by any chance he and Margot should get into a relationship then he will be calling the shots. As their relationship gets on, texting introduces some ambiguity as it does not give room for the two to talk about any personal things. They make a lot of jokes while texting and by the time they meet out for the first time Margot only knows about the cats. Due to the fact that they have no personal information about each other, there is no room for mutual understanding that in turn gives room for misinterpretations. This therefore leads Robert to a misguided notion that his domineering attitude is accepted and can be tolerated. As a result, through texts he is quoted in the story telling Margot when inviting her out that no I’m serious stop fooling around a come a now (Roupenian, n.p), a sign that his demanding attitude is now catching momentum in the relationship.
Misinterpretations are also seen on Margot’s side when she regrets texting Robert’ lol are you serious’ (Roupenian, n.p). She assumes that, this text might have hurt him and this makes her vulnerable and more submitting to Robert, something which in turn worsens his domineering attitude. Therefore it could be argued that texting as the primary mode of communication between Robert and Margot affected their relationship by allowing room for misinterpretations that in turn affected their relationship. If texting would have been accompanied by a series of face to face conversations then the relationship could have been built on a stronger basis that would have seen them carry on for some time, and not break up because one just realized the other is not their type after spending a long face to face time with them for the first time.
Scholarly analysis.
Texting.
In a scholarly context, research indicates that texting is the most used form of communication among young adults. Averagely, young adults aged between 18 and 24 exchange 100.9 messages daily (Luo, 145). Given the sexual activity that prevails around this age, it could also be assumed that most of these texts are in line with looking for or maintaining existing romantic relationships. This implies that in one way or the other, texting is of importance among people in a relationship as it maintains some kind of frequency and helps in lessening any anxiety that could be encountered. For a romantic relationship to be successful, there has to be some form of attachment between the two parties involved. The two people in a romantic relationship have to be able to create and maintain close emotional relationships. In this regard, for a romantic relationship to succeed there has to be a strong link between the existing forms of communication and the type of attachment that exists between two people. Different people tend to have different attachment characteristics and in this line texting would be important as it will help in maintaining closeness and autonomy between such people in a relationship.
Due to the fact that texting is an important communication tool among partners in a romantic relationship, it is always assumed that texting and attachment would have the same joint effect on the outcome of a relationship. This is not always the case because research indicates that people in successful romantic relationships use voice calls more often than they use any other form of communication. This is because the use of voice calls is largely associated with more love and commitment among romantic partners and they also have lower relational uncertainty as compared to texting (Luo, 145). This therefore implies that texting alone would result in worse outcomes as compared to voice calls due to the high relational uncertainty that it has, and also the less commitment and show of love that it also portrays. Therefore, the outcome of the relationship between Robert and Margot in the story could be blamed on texting which enhanced relational uncertainty through risks of ambiguity and misinterpretations that it exposed them to.
Romantic relationships.
Far from the modes of communication that are needed to sustain romance, it is also important to look at the constitution of romantic relationships. Even though people are encouraged not to judge a book by its cover, romantic relationships are always based on physical attractiveness (Knapp, and Daly, 612). Before a person engages in a romantic relationship with someone, they have to be attracted to them physical. This explains why before anything else, Margot gushed over the physical appearance of Robert and even had an imaginary crush on him before they exchanged numbers and started dating. Far from physical attractiveness, research also indicates that romantic relationships are also constituted by similarity. People want to date those who are similar to them in the context of age, education and unfortunately even race at times. Similarity applies across all forms of relationships and not just romantic relationships as research indicates that before students choose their roommates they also consider the level of similarity between them. It is also important to note that even though physical attractiveness is important in romantic attraction, similarity is the most sought after as compared to physical attractiveness (Braxton, 9). Lastly, similarity and attractiveness are independent variables to the establishment of romantic relations, however they could at times be linked together in the sense that similarity could magnify the element of physical attractiveness and then lead to a romantic relationship.
In line with what constitutes a romantic relationship, researchers have alos come up with several theories on interaction patterns between partners in a romantic relationship. One of their findings is that the amount of time couples spend together reflects positively on their relational quality. This makes sense given that while physical attractiveness is always instant, similarity always takes time to be established. Similarity is important for any romantic relationship to be successful and for people to capitalize on it, they have to spend time together more. This also justifies why texts cannot be relied on for the success of a romantic relationship. If Robert and Margot spent more time together instead of relying on text messages they would have done better. It is unfortunate that they only found out about each other’s ages after spending some time together, something which signified that similarity was lacking in their relationship.
Human sexuality.
Human sexually on the other hand is a phenomenon that pertains to the experiences and expressions that people show in a sexual context. In this regard, research indicates that there are several gender differences on human sexuality. Among these differences, one that stands out is that women emphasize more on committed relationships in the context of sexuality while men show greater sexual desire than women do (Peplau, 37). As earlier discussed texting is associated with less commitment and show of love as compared to other modes of communication like telephone calls. In this regard Margot would have negatively expressed herself in a sexual context given that texts were more or less the foundation of their relationship. In this regard, overreliance on the use of texts for communication would affect romantic relationships in a sexual context.
Conclusion.
Communication is key to the survival or maintenance of any kind of romantic relationship. Therefore, text messaging being a mode of communication is relevant in the maintenance of romantic relationships. However, if it forms the basis of a romantic relationship without any physical face to affect meetings then it turns destructive. This is because it affects mutual understanding by exposing relationships to the risks of misinterpretations and ambiguity. This in turn results in relational uncertainty that affects the sexuality especially of women and also allows no room for similarity which is an essential part of romantic relationships to be established.
Works cited.
Braxton, Princess. “The Social Psychology Of Love And Attraction”. Mcnair Scholars Journal, vol 14, no. 1, 2010, p. Article 2. http://scholarworks.gvsu.edu/mcnair/vol14/iss1/2. Accessed 12 Apr 2020.
Knapp, Mark L, and John A Daly. The Sage Handbook of Interpersonal Communication. 4th ed., SAGE Publications, 2011, p. Chapter 18.
Luo, Shanhong. “Effects of Texting on Satisfaction in Romantic Relationships: The Role of Attachment”. Computers in Human Behavior, vol 33, 2014, pp. 145-152. Elsevier BV, doi:10.1016/j.chb.2014.01.014. Accessed 12 Apr 2020.
Peplau, Letitia Anne. “Human Sexuality: How Do Men And Women Differ?” Current Directions in Psychological Science, vol 12, no. 2, 2003, pp. 37-40. SAGE Publications, doi:10.1111/1467-8721.01221. Accessed 12 Apr 2020.
Roupenian, Kristen. “”Cat Person””. The New Yorker, 2017, https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/12/11/cat-person.