the significant highlights that Pascual –Leone, brings forth based on his experience on the psychological field
Every aspect of our lives, including what we say, what we do, and how we do things, to mention a few are profoundly affected by emotions. There are different types of emotions among them being anticipatory emotions which includes desire and fear, and the outcome emotions such as happiness, anger, sadness, excitement and tenderness. Due to the integral role that emotions play in our social interactions and social life, it’s imperative to have emotional stability, which is attained through psychotherapy. In his ted talk, Pascual –Leone, sheds light on how to get over a relationship through a three-step process, thus enabling the individual to attain their emotional stability.
One of the significant highlights that Pascual –Leone, brings forth based on his experience on the psychological field is the assumption that time heals all the emotional baggage. To counter this, he extensively elaborates that for one to recover from the emotional hurt based on relationship breakage whether romantic, working or social, people ought to pass through a process. Also, he notes that complexity of this topic, based on a study done by the University of Yolk, whereby irrespective of the “emotional baggage” being a common problem, no effective term has been developed to explain this baggage. In any case, one of the first steps is the untangling and the identification of feelings, whereby he explains the importance of coming to term with one’s problems, instead of waiting them out.
He further identifies the common emotions after the breakup which includes anger, bitterness and sadness, all which can be resolved through coming into term with the problems and identifying here they hurt, this is the best way to get unstuck from the unfinished business. The next step is understanding what one needs. According to Pascual –Leone, this can only be attained through bypassing the self-pity and self-blame and focusing on what one needs. The last step involves visiting the relationship end and looking at what was lost working through the arising feelings. In this case, he highlights that while revisiting the relationship, most people reminisce on the good things that the relationship brought while overlooking the undeclared losses, thus hindering the completion of the grief process. As a result, a closer look at the relationship, from all dimensions enables one to look at what they lost, the good things thus bringing to term what they need to say goodbye to. In a nutshell, Pascual –Leone, outlines that for the unfinished business to be settled, when the emotions emerge, one as to feel and express them, and only then can one be done.