Social Development
Moving on from some events is one of the most difficult assignments that an individual comes across in the journey of life. The need to move on comes when events are beyond the control of human capacity and when holding on makes things worse than they already are. The decision to move on is always the last option that an individual has and always requires courage. In most cases, moving on involves preceding most things that might not be easy to leave behind. People have found themselves in difficult situations that have required critical decision making. Several theories have been put across to explain the behavior of human beings about certain events. Some of the outstanding theories are attachment theory and Freud’s psychoanalytic theory. The reaction of people towards certain news and events differs and the courage with which individuals move on also differs.
The attachment theory is based on the relationship that exists between a child and their parent. The attachment theory was developed by John Bowlby, who was interested in finding out whether children would be easily separated from their parents (Bowlby, 2018). Children always get a strong bond with the people who are in their life in the early years of life. Mostly, children first meet their parents before meeting the outside world. The mother is specifically the first person who meets with the child where the child is born under normal circumstances, and the father is later introduced. The growth of the child in their early life around the parents creates a strong bond that explains the reason why children will be resistant to any attempt to separate them from their parents. The resistance signs that a child may show due to the attachment with their parents differ, but they run from feeling insecure to feeling distressed. The feeling of insecurity may be evidenced by crying and screaming on various occasions. Also, children may appear physically distressed, with the feelings shifting to happiness when the children are reunited with their parents.
The attachment between a parent and their child does not, however, remain evident at a young age. The relationship traits of adults are derived from the growth in childhood. For example, people who have been brought up to feel insecure due to the loss of loved ones will be insecure and cautious while engaging in relationships with other people (Rosmalen, Horst & Veer, 2016). The impact of childhood relationships on adulthood relationships has been explained using the attachment theory. Also, the relationship between parents and parents has been explained in theory to the extent to adulthood with people feeling insecure after losing their parents, either by death or character. However, the bond between a parent and their child is stronger at young ages than in the old ages and children will tend to react with fear to any event that threatens to take away their parents. The definition of the attachment had come to make sense at my later age upon reflecting on an event that happened in my life when I was ten years of age.
When I was ten years of age, my mother was diagnosed with cancer. Owing to the young age, I did not have much information about cancer, but at least I had heard that cancer was responsible for the death of several people. Also, I did not know what death exactly meant, but I did know that death was not a good thing. I have been trying to recall the exact events that followed the diagnosis, although the clear picture has not been forming. Also, I have been unable to recall the day because asking my mother to remind of the day would make her worried that I have not moved on from the news. I, however, remember that I felt sad knowing that mother was suffering from a condition that did not have a cure. The feelings were so strong that I could not help crying every night when I went to sleep, and I always felt that my mother had already left me. In addition to the feeling of sadness, I was afraid that my mother would soon leave me and that I would not be able to adapt to life without my mother. Additionally, I had a feeling of shame due to the feeling that my mother was suffering from a dangerous disease that did not have a cure. I was not sure about the reaction of my friends upon realizing the condition of my mother, and I was afraid that I would be discriminated.
The attachment that had existed between mother and I played a significant role in helping me to get over the feelings of sadness, fear, and shame. Mother had been the most influential person in my life, and I would believe everything that she told me. For example, my mother was fast to notice that the news about her condition had negatively affected me and that I needed more assurance that I would be able to live life normally. My schooling was at risk because the sadness was almost taking away the hope that I was holding in life. Fortunately, my mother was able to recreate the hope in me, and I continued schooling while holding strong self-esteem as well as maintaining my friendships. Generally, the parent-child attachment is crucial in the general development in life.
The psychoanalytic theory is concerned with explaining human behavior in reaction to unexpected events. Human beings tend to pretend to be in denial concerning some events (Marcus, 2016). The denial nature of human beings makes them turn unconscious concerning some events and hoping that the events will pass fast. Sigmund Freud is said to be behind the development of the psychoanalytic theory and that he was motivated in explaining the behavior of human beings when exposed to various events. Freud has been in denial concerning the claim that a certain supernatural power is behind the way that human beings behave. According to Freud, human beings have been introduced to religion as a way to deviate their attention from the real cause of their way of behavior. Therefore, Freud developed a theory that would explain the nature of human behavior and the ability to react to different events. Generally, the behavior traits of human beings are affected by the mind.
Freud defined the psychoanalytic theory in three levels as the Id, ego, and superego. The id stage involves explaining the behavior of human beings to have an unconscious mind that resists any attempt to take an individual from pleasure (Mitchell, & Black, 2016). The unconscious part of the mind is responsible for the pleasure that a human being enjoys and does not allow any chance for displeasure. In trying to maintain pleasure, the individual pretends that the events that have happened do not have an impact on their life. The id separates the individual from the perceptions of the outside world with the primary interest being directed towards the individual’s satisfaction. Generally, the id is based on the immediate search for satisfaction. Also, the psychoanalytic theory has the ego part. The ego part of the individual’s mind is responsible for creating a balance between pain and pleasure. The existence of an individual has to be controlled by ego or else the individual will not survive the pressure that comes with pain. In reality, the ego tries to maintain an individual’s knowledge that all attributes of life cannot be met at the same time, although the ego does not differentiate between right and wrong. The primary function is, therefore, to control the instinctual contribution of the id.
Additionally, the psychoanalytic theory is based on the superego, which forms the third and last part of the theory. The superego develops at the age of four to five, and an individual can incorporate the morals of a society. At the superego stage, an individual can differentiate between right and wrong by reasoning according to the morals of the society. The behavior of human beings can, therefore, be taken as a process that involves the mind and the ability to accept or reject the urge to be impacted by an event. A real-life application of Freud’s theory happened to me when my 19 years old daughter suffered a cardiac arrest, and I had to go through a lot in coming to terms with the issue.
The month of March 2018 will remain as one of the most unforgettable months in my life. My daughter, who was 19 years of age at the time suffered a cardiac arrest. Having been through much in life, I was not ready to come into terms with yet another tragedy. After receiving the news that my daughter had suffered the cardiac arrest, I reacted to quite a strange way. I had a mentality that moved me towards denial and pretending that I was okay with the situation. I had decided to pretend that the situation was not a big deal. However, time passed, and I could no longer hide my feelings, and I realized that keeping the feelings to myself was only hurting me from the inside. I had not come to the acceptance of Freud’s argument that issues should be removed from the unconscious state to the conscious state. The first stages after receiving the news were accompanied by a reaction of not caring about anything.
In sum, the reaction of individuals towards some events is based on the mind and not some supernatural forces. Several theories have been put across to explain the nature of human behavior. The attachment theory and Freud’s psychoanalytic theory have specifically been essential in explaining the nature of human behavior. Generally, the reaction of human beings towards some events is affected by the relationships at a young age as well as the desire to remain in pleasure.
References
Bowlby, R. (2018). Fifty years of attachment theory. In Fifty Years of Attachment Theory (pp. 11-26). Routledge.
Marcus, S. (2016). Freud and the Culture of Psychoanalysis: Studies in the Transition from Victorian Humanism to Modernity.
Mitchell, S. A., & Black, M. J. (2016). Freud and beyond: A history of modern psychoanalytic thought. Hachette UK.
Van Rosmalen, L., Van Der Horst, F. C., & Van der Veer, R. (2016). From secure dependency to attachment: Mary Ainsworth’s integration of Blatz’s security theory into Bowlby’s attachment theory. History of Psychology, 19(1), 22.